I'm So Very Thankful for the Privilege of Being Able to Explore and Create My Own Evolving Healing Process
I am So Very Thankful for having a fair amount of free-time (ME-time) and resources to be able to dedicate toward trauma-informed personal growth and healing.
So many Survivors (and people in general in need of a more fulfilling life beyond the things you can BUY) have to work LONG HOURS, tend to our families ahead of our own needs, and so on - it's not a choice - it's the Reality of living in this society where success is measured in dollars and people are valued largely by how good of a consumer and contributor to the almighty economy they are.
Healing and personal growth (major keys to living a happier life) takes a vast amount of time and energy, and so many Survivors have extremely limited time and energy to spare.
Healing and personal growth should not have to be reserved for the privileged few. So many Survivors don't even see it as an option that is "for them". That's something that "other people" are able to do.
No one else can heal for you (not your family, not your therapist, not your church ...), and perhaps you know this deep down ... but that doesn't buy you the time and resources to creatively explore the unique options that are right for you. Some people are waiting for someone to give them permission to MAKE TIME, and still others are frankly too worn down from working their butts off to be able to muster even the tinyest bit of energy toward healing (TIP: Every little bit helps, even if you don't feel it. Baby steps are still steps!)
I understand why turning to religion is one way of "dealing" with trauma. Religion is neatly packaged and to a degree it helps so many people overcome adversity. But the real answers - the real solutions - the real healing - comes from within your authentic self that has become buried with layers and layers of coping mechanisms that no longer serve you well, bad memories, etc etc etc etc etc.
Unfortunately? (or fortunately?) you have to go deep within yourself, and do it often to find that sort of sustainable healing.
The answers lie within. Again I'm so thankful to be at this point in my own healing process where I not only THINK THIS ... I FEEL THIS to the core of my being and my body because I've LIVED IT, and have experienced it. No book, no religion, no other person, can live it for me, but they can point me in the a general direction and I can test the waters and see how it resonates with the truths I've experienced up to this point. It's a spiraling, creative, experimental process for me - that takes Time, and Energy and Resources.
The message I am trying to send is that we all have the answers within us, but without the time and energy and resources it takes to be able to explore those answers, well ... life tends to feel pretty hopeless and you tend to feel alone and damaged and abnormal and ashamed and guilty and ... the list goes on. I've been there. For much of my life.
I'm thankful that my current job affords me a decent amount of free-time and money, and yes, I could use more time and money to hire a more qualified therapist to advise me at times, or to travel to attend retreat or workshops (etc etc etc), but honestly, there are other cheaper more creative ways I'd rather spend toward my "healing time" ... So I "make do" and maybe I could have gotten to where I'm at quicker under the right guru's wing or whatever, but I'm so very thankful and proud at how far I've come largely by my own tenacity, and grit, and resourcefulness, and playful spirit ... and frankly a great deal of LUCK ... all through a lens of Hope that I stumbled across at right time in my life when I was open to it.
Adults "dealing" with Childhood Sexual Abuse, and Unresolved Trauma in General is a major public health problem with effects that ripple into the lives of each and every person in our society, whether you or they know it or not.
I am among the privileged few who are starting to talk about it, and allow others to peek into my own healing process. Perhaps someday I'll be part of the privileged majority #hope
I am writing this as I prepare to go into yoga / bodywork mode and then probably read, write and paint while being mindful of the role this can all play in my healing / growth process.
Yes I fully acknowledge to YOU and to the UNIVERSE that I Am Privileged and again SoVery Thankful.
I Truly Hope that You can find a few moments to dedicate to yourself today and each day - you are worth it!
(This photo of Me was taken by my then-boyfriend / now-husband Chris a few years ago. To me, it sort of evokes the feeling of going-within. Taken at a cemetery, it also reminds me of mortality - which connects us all and emphasizes the limited time we have on this earth - and which motivates me to remain mindful of how precious this time really is and with the right mindset, every moment can be part of my own healing process.)